My mother has also kept a huge secret from me, a secret that changed my life forever. Growing up I never knew who my father was, up until just a few weeks ago. My mother had been getting child support on me and had never told me. When I turned 18,my grandmother had received a letter in the mail regarding child support on me from my father, she gave it to me knowing I had been wondering who he was and how to find him. Since then, I had been online searching on peoplesearches,myspace,and on google.So far it had been 2 years and I had just moved to Woburn,Massachusetts to start a new life outside of Florida. Finally one night,searhing the internet again for my father, I was on peoplesearch.com and was able to get a few relatives names,whom I didnt know who and how they were related to him. I began to search the first name on the relative list..Ammy Meyshine. Once I had noticed that name came up more than once on my search for my father, I immediately began searching her name on myspace and facebook and found her!! That very moment, I wrote her on myspace. After a few hours,she responded and I had gotten a message on myspace.
Surprisingly, Ammy Meyshine turned out to be one of my fathers sisters! In the email she had said to call her and gave me her number, so I did and we talked for about 45 minutes about everything from me growing up to now fighting for my baby and how much family I now have on my fathers side.I have several aunts and uncles,as well as a grandmother, and a lot of brothers and sisters to whom I am the oldest sister to! All this news,is what I have prayed and hoped for,for years. All Ive ever wanted to know growing up was who I am and where I came from. My father is from Guam and lives there with his wife and some of his kids. He has several kids,whom I do not know much bout his childrearing but what I did learn is he did pay child support for me, but how is it possible that his name isnt on my birth certificate,yet he has financially supported me for all these years? Since finding him, I have so many unanswered questions I would like to know about. At this time, I have not informed my mother. Due to mixed feelings, I feel that if I tell my mother without meeting my father first,she would continue brainwashing me and lying to me,which I have difficulty dealing with due to my wanting her love and never receiving it. From what I know now,the majority of my negative behavior was due to lack of my mothers attention and nurturing. Being that I am the middle child, and look of a different ethnicity, I feel that I have brought shame upon my family. Due to the dysfunction in my family,its been hard for me to relate to them and to tell them my true feelings because I am fearful of hurting them even though I am hurting inside. In my short years, Ive experienced so much pain and distrust that I find it hard to forgive people. I have prayed and asked God to guide me down the right path and help me to see things differently.My dreams are to unify with my son,meet my father, and possibly mend my relationship with my family.
Friday, September 25, 2009
HELPPP MEEE GET MY BABY BACK!!!
My name is Jaran Kathleen Terrey. About a year and a half ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Sir Emanuel Jackman, My baby’s father, Curtis and I bonded with him immediately after delivery for over 24 hours. We fed him, changed him and burped him, bathed him, kissed him, hugged him, and held him and continuously telling him we loved him. I was forced to give up for adoption due to pressure from the family as well as from my boyfriend/baby’s father, Curtis Jackman Jr. due to his confusion. Curtis never told his parents about the baby due to him not wanting to disappointment them as they gave him high expectations growing up.
My family was the main part of my pressure due to them arguing about what I was going to do with the baby and the fact that they didn’t want to see me with Curtis. My family is very dysfunctional; and told me that if I kept the child and stayed with Curtis that I would not be able to live there with them. I didn’t want to live there with my child anyways due to the drinking and dysfunction that was in the house. Curtis’ house wasn’t an option either because he wouldn’t tell his parents. I was so desperate to tell his mother but I had not met her and was very scared at what she might say so I put up a lot of pictures of our son on MySpace knowing that Curtis’ mother check's out his MySpace once in a while. Soon after I posted them Curtis’ mother seen the photos, she was excited to find out she had a grandson, but very hurt at the fact that we didn’t tell her or anyone else in Curtis’ family. I had nobody to turn to and still don’t till this very day except for the opened arms I got from Curtis’ loving family.
I feel my rights as a citizen were violated, I was falsely represented by not having a LAWYER in the adoption process as well as forged of all my paperwork by my mother due to the fact that my mother faxed and finished the paperwork to a adoption agency I have never even heard of. I have been very depressed and can't believe how much laws in Florida are twisted around. Please read the story of my hurt and pain as well as my new families. My real family doesn’t care and I am asking for help. I have done everything that I am suppose to, to start the process of getting him back and not one lawyer will help me as well as anyone from the system in the state of Florida. I went back to the agency before the six months was over like they told us. When I got there they told me that it was too late. It wasn't six months yet like they said. They lied to me,told me to go home and grief the lose of my baby as if he were not alive. She also said that I should go to therapy to mourn. I got so upset and began to cry uncontrollably. My child is not dead! Why would they tell me such lies and terrible advice. Please help me I am in desperate need to get my son back home,where he belongs.With his birth family! How do you think he is going to feel knowing that we are fighting so hard to get him back and nobody is helping us? How will the system and the Rysers help him understand we love him and want him back. WE are his birth parents. We made a bad choice due to the people around us not helping us and telling us about other resources that we were entitled to. Please think about this happening to your son or daughter. I miss my baby so much. I cant sleep,drink or eat somedays thinking aobut him and the fact that I came from such a family that has no feeling of bonding with a child and then taking him away..This will tear my heart forever…I have come to realize that none of thi would have never happened if it weren’t for my mother. She has always brought out the low and downside of me, my mother has always disappointed me…
I also have more to tell, my mother has also kept a huge secret from me, a secret that changed my life forever. Growing up I never knew who my father was, up until just a few weeks ago. My mother had been getting child support on me and had never told me. When I turned 18,my grandmother had received a letter in the mail regarding child support on me from my father, she gave it to me knowing I had been wondering who he was and how to find him. Since then, I had been online searching on peoplesearches,myspace,and on google.So far it had been 2 years and I had just moved to Woburn,Massachusetts to start a new life outside of Florida.
Finally one night,searhing the internet again for my father, I was on peoplesearch.com and was able to get a few relatives names,whom I didn’t know who and how they were related to him. I began to search the first name on the relative list..Ammy Meyshine. Once I had noticed that name came up more than once on my search for my father, I immediately began searching her name on myspace and facebook and found her!! That very moment, I wrote her on myspace. After a few hours,she responded and I had gotten a message on myspace.
Surprisingly, Ammy Meyshine turned out to be one of my fathers sisters! In the email she had said to call her and gave me her number, so I did and we talked for about 45 minutes about everything from me growing up to now fighting for my baby and how much family I now have on my fathers side.I have several aunts and uncles,as well as a grandmother, and a lot of brothers and sisters to whom I am the oldest sister to! All this news,is what I have prayed and hoped for,for years. All Ive ever wanted to know growing up was who I am and where I came from. My father is from Guam and lives there with his wife and some of his kids. He has several kids,whom I do not know much bout his childrearing but what I did learn is he did pay child support for me, but how is it possible that his name isn’t on my birth certificate,yet he has financially supported me for all these years?
Since finding him, I have so many unanswered questions I would like to know about. At this time, I have not informed my mother. Due to mixed feelings, I feel that if I tell my mother without meeting my father first,she would continue brainwashing me and lying to me,which I have difficulty dealing with due to my wanting her love and never receiving it. From what I know now,the majority of my negative behavior was due to lack of my mother’s attention and nurturing. Being that I am the middle child, and look of a different ethnicity, I feel that I have brought shame upon my family. Due to the dysfunction in my family,its been hard for me to relate to them and to tell them my true feelings because I am fearful of hurting them even though I am hurting inside. In my short years, Ive experienced so much pain and distrust that I find it hard to forgive people. I have prayed and asked God to guide me down the right path and help me to see things differently.My dreams are to unify with my son,meet my father, and possibly mend my relationship with my family.
My family was the main part of my pressure due to them arguing about what I was going to do with the baby and the fact that they didn’t want to see me with Curtis. My family is very dysfunctional; and told me that if I kept the child and stayed with Curtis that I would not be able to live there with them. I didn’t want to live there with my child anyways due to the drinking and dysfunction that was in the house. Curtis’ house wasn’t an option either because he wouldn’t tell his parents. I was so desperate to tell his mother but I had not met her and was very scared at what she might say so I put up a lot of pictures of our son on MySpace knowing that Curtis’ mother check's out his MySpace once in a while. Soon after I posted them Curtis’ mother seen the photos, she was excited to find out she had a grandson, but very hurt at the fact that we didn’t tell her or anyone else in Curtis’ family. I had nobody to turn to and still don’t till this very day except for the opened arms I got from Curtis’ loving family.
I feel my rights as a citizen were violated, I was falsely represented by not having a LAWYER in the adoption process as well as forged of all my paperwork by my mother due to the fact that my mother faxed and finished the paperwork to a adoption agency I have never even heard of. I have been very depressed and can't believe how much laws in Florida are twisted around. Please read the story of my hurt and pain as well as my new families. My real family doesn’t care and I am asking for help. I have done everything that I am suppose to, to start the process of getting him back and not one lawyer will help me as well as anyone from the system in the state of Florida. I went back to the agency before the six months was over like they told us. When I got there they told me that it was too late. It wasn't six months yet like they said. They lied to me,told me to go home and grief the lose of my baby as if he were not alive. She also said that I should go to therapy to mourn. I got so upset and began to cry uncontrollably. My child is not dead! Why would they tell me such lies and terrible advice. Please help me I am in desperate need to get my son back home,where he belongs.With his birth family! How do you think he is going to feel knowing that we are fighting so hard to get him back and nobody is helping us? How will the system and the Rysers help him understand we love him and want him back. WE are his birth parents. We made a bad choice due to the people around us not helping us and telling us about other resources that we were entitled to. Please think about this happening to your son or daughter. I miss my baby so much. I cant sleep,drink or eat somedays thinking aobut him and the fact that I came from such a family that has no feeling of bonding with a child and then taking him away..This will tear my heart forever…I have come to realize that none of thi would have never happened if it weren’t for my mother. She has always brought out the low and downside of me, my mother has always disappointed me…
I also have more to tell, my mother has also kept a huge secret from me, a secret that changed my life forever. Growing up I never knew who my father was, up until just a few weeks ago. My mother had been getting child support on me and had never told me. When I turned 18,my grandmother had received a letter in the mail regarding child support on me from my father, she gave it to me knowing I had been wondering who he was and how to find him. Since then, I had been online searching on peoplesearches,myspace,and on google.So far it had been 2 years and I had just moved to Woburn,Massachusetts to start a new life outside of Florida.
Finally one night,searhing the internet again for my father, I was on peoplesearch.com and was able to get a few relatives names,whom I didn’t know who and how they were related to him. I began to search the first name on the relative list..Ammy Meyshine. Once I had noticed that name came up more than once on my search for my father, I immediately began searching her name on myspace and facebook and found her!! That very moment, I wrote her on myspace. After a few hours,she responded and I had gotten a message on myspace.
Surprisingly, Ammy Meyshine turned out to be one of my fathers sisters! In the email she had said to call her and gave me her number, so I did and we talked for about 45 minutes about everything from me growing up to now fighting for my baby and how much family I now have on my fathers side.I have several aunts and uncles,as well as a grandmother, and a lot of brothers and sisters to whom I am the oldest sister to! All this news,is what I have prayed and hoped for,for years. All Ive ever wanted to know growing up was who I am and where I came from. My father is from Guam and lives there with his wife and some of his kids. He has several kids,whom I do not know much bout his childrearing but what I did learn is he did pay child support for me, but how is it possible that his name isn’t on my birth certificate,yet he has financially supported me for all these years?
Since finding him, I have so many unanswered questions I would like to know about. At this time, I have not informed my mother. Due to mixed feelings, I feel that if I tell my mother without meeting my father first,she would continue brainwashing me and lying to me,which I have difficulty dealing with due to my wanting her love and never receiving it. From what I know now,the majority of my negative behavior was due to lack of my mother’s attention and nurturing. Being that I am the middle child, and look of a different ethnicity, I feel that I have brought shame upon my family. Due to the dysfunction in my family,its been hard for me to relate to them and to tell them my true feelings because I am fearful of hurting them even though I am hurting inside. In my short years, Ive experienced so much pain and distrust that I find it hard to forgive people. I have prayed and asked God to guide me down the right path and help me to see things differently.My dreams are to unify with my son,meet my father, and possibly mend my relationship with my family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)